Call to Renewing Catholic Schools

Education is a part of our lives and impacts our development, not just as a scholar but also as a person. Can the same be said in regards to one’s faith? Did the catholic school system that I grew up with live up to its mission statement of developing the whole Catholic person? Did it prepare me for living the catholic faith after graduation? The short answer to both of these questions is no, it did not. Now before I am burned at the stake for betraying my parochial schools I want to assure anyone reading this that I am not writing this post to bash or whine like a wimpering puppy but as a call to renewal.

I remember how in elementary school religion class was a joke, and in middle school it was mediocre. By the time I reached high school though, theology became an actual class. Now I had to work for our grade. The class on Old Testament studies was fascinating, but had to be crammed into a single semester. What a shame that it was merely a survey of the Old Testament! So there was content that we either could have taken a closer look at or could have looked at for the first time. Unfortunately, the content of most of the other courses was not up to par. I even recall moments when teachers would get their facts wrong about a church teaching. I learned far more outside of class than in it. Some semesters, I felt as if I were not even in a theology class, but a general humanity course with God occasionally tossed in.

One theology class remains in my mind the most, “Why am I Catholic?” How come after attending Catholic schools for most of my life was I just now finding this out in twelfth grade? The title of the course was troubling because it appeared to imply that they had not properly instructed us in the faith. “Why am I Catholic?” was an elective on how to defend and explain our beliefs. “Beginning Apologetics” would not have been nearly as alarming a title. Despite the name, we learned a great deal, not just for enlightening non-Catholics and even non-Christians, but Catholics themselves. A more challenging course, but incredibly useful. Often, people will say that if one wants to get easy points in a religion class just put down, “Jesus loves me” and the teacher cannot mark such an answer as wrong. In my apologetics class however, if anyone would say that then they would have to answer why and how we know this. I truly grew in this course and continue to do so today. It provided me with a solid foundation for defending the faith and how to find the answers to questions that I do not know. Every Catholic should take a class like this.

Something that I could not help but notice about the theology classes in high school was the lack of teaching about the Church’s stance on morality and culture. When forming our conscience, for the most part asked us what our own opinions on certain ethical issues were, but did not paint a full picture of what the Church specifically stated about them. Yet even when we were occasionally told what church teaching actually was, our teachers typically gave us paper thin answers. Plenty of my fellow classmates asked tough questions that teachers never addressed. To many of my peers, our religion was just a naïve set of rules of what we could and could not do, instead of something liberating and completely radical compared to the world’s false promises that never satisfy (Soucy). Instead of lists of what was and was not acceptable, we needed a more in depth study of the logic and reasoning behind God’s designs. He does everything for us out of love. “I want to give you the very best-please allow be to bring it to you” (“Are you a Date, or a Soul Mate? Finding the one”).

If our school wanted fidelity of the youth to the Church then why did it encourage us to create our own morals apart from God’s laws? This is cafeteria Catholicism, picking and choosing what to believe and not believe in the faith just like choosing what to eat and not eat in a cafeteria. The theory of teachers offering students non-directive “values clarification” or encouraging students to make their own ethical decisions, was encouraged by psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers. “Decades later, Dr. Rogers openly admitted that this method of teaching was a huge mistake. He recognized that when adults fail to pass on solid direction and clear values, then the young people are left without a compass” (Can’t we accept that people have different values when it comes to sex?). Many have used the phrase, “blinded by faith” when in reality it opens one’s eyes to where one is meant to go for the good of oneself, others, and especially God. When walking along the journey of life, those who toss away the map and compass so that they can make their own way will most likely get lost or put themselves in grave danger.

The world presents us with so many values that are contrary to the faith and we need to know how to respond to it. Often, modern day culture tries to manipulate us with its own way of thinking and how easy it is to get swept away with its misconceptions and lies. After graduating from high school and moving onto college I am surrounded by people who ask difficult questions and who think very differently from how the Church does. I wish that we had been taught how to respond to such matters. Many Catholic school students are at high risk for not just infidelity to the Church but of leaving it all together after graduation. We need rock solid preparation.

One problem I noticed that our high school had was “Cool Catholicism,” particularly at mass. For the time that he was there, our school’s priest rarely gave us a homily after the gospel reading. Whenever guest priests came did we receive it. Instead we were usually given funny skits by fellow classmates that had nothing to do with the scripture readings that day. Whatever lessons supposedly presented to us was shallow and uninteresting. Our theology teacher told us that we do not attend mass for entertainment, yet we viewed parodies of popular movies and television shows that appeared to be more concerned with entertainment than enlightenment. On more than one occasion, moments of sexual humor were even thrown in. All of these spectacles are already present in the world but we youth hunger for what the world cannot give us. “In fact, the culture we live in is the source of most of our problems” (Soucy). Why would a doctor ever give a patient more of a virus that they already had instead of medicine?

Some may argue that our school wanted to relate to us so that they could get the message home. If this is true, then how come after mass my peers would not be discussing how the homily challenged them or made them really think. There were no converts, just kids laughing at the skit. No one took it seriously because they had to resort to using humor to get them interested in their faith. Gimmicks, bells, whistles, goofy catch phrases, “relating to teens,” and attempting to be “cool” just look silly to young people. Quite frankly, this is not evangelizing but soul begging. “Please please look over here. Please pay attention at mass. We’ll give you whatever you want. WE GRAVEL AT YOUR VERY FEET” (“The Power of Modesty”). The whining and graveling, however, is not the slightest bit attractive to young people.

Giving the Church a makeover implies one of two things. Either the Church is not good enough for the youth or the youth are not good enough for the Church as it already is. Each claim insults the other’s dignity. Did Christ not value them so much that He gave His own life for them both? His bride the Church is breath-taking in beauty and she calls her children to greatness. “Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity” (1 Tm 4:12). Downplaying and watering down the faith are the same as looking down upon the Church and even the youth themselves.

During my freshman year, the whole school gathered in the gymnasium to listen to a guest speaker. The last topic that he discussed was the Miraculous Medal of Our Lady. After telling the story behind it and the special graces that one receives by wearing and even kissing it, he offered them to anyone who wanted one. Suddenly, a great multitude of teenagers excitedly rushed down for a medal. I was so surprised to witness such an event. Practically everyone got one that day. I wondered why it happened and one day the puzzle fit together. They were finally told what they all wanted to hear-the truth and nothing less.

What else do the youth want? The most successful youth programs are centered on the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist- where they can freely bring Jesus their hopes, dreams, questions, pain, and receive strength from Him (Soucy). Young people are yearning for Our Lord’s love and presence in this troubled world (Soucy). Eucharistic Adoration on campuses has been proven to increase the amount of mass attendants-and not just on Sundays, as well as the reception of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and the people going to daily Rosary (Soucy). Also, the youth desire to be challenged. Pope John Paul II attracted such large multitudes of young people from around the globe-particularly to World Youth Day. “What was it about this man that would incite youth to travel for thousands of miles, sleep in primitive settings, go without food and water, and shed tears at the mention of the name ‘John Paul II’ ” (Colette 20). Clearly, something drew young people to this older man. The answer is found in his own words to a group of youth in St. Louis that was broadcasted on television. “Christ is calling you; the Church needs you; the Pope believes in you and he expects great things of you” and not a single dry eye was found in the arena or from television viewers (Soucy)! Pope John Paul II displayed his love for the young, possessed a sincere trust and enduring faith in them, but also encouraged them to rise up to take on the challenge of holiness, despite the world’s great obstacles. What an excellent example for anyone who desires to evangelize the youth!

I dream of a reform in the catechesis of young people and even adults. One may reply that one cannot convert all of the schools and I agree, but even just having one solid school will make all the difference in the world. Others may be touched and inspired by the reform and spread it. Even if no one else takes notice of merely one orthodox school, generations to come may be transformed for years to come.


Works Cited

“Are you a Date, or a Soul Mate? Finding the one.” The Pure Life. Hosts Crystalina and
Jason Evert. EWTN. Irondale, AL. 2007.

“Can’t we accept that people have different values when it comes to sex? We need to be
Realistic-times have changes since the Bible was written.” PureLoveClub.com.
2007. Electric Pulp. 25 April 2008 .

Colette. “One of a Gazillion Stories.” John Paul II, We Love You: World Youth Day
Reflections 1984-2005. Ed. Barbara A. Murray. Winona, MN: Saint Mary’s
Press, 2005. 19-24.

The New American Bible. Ed. Hartman, Canada: World Bible Inc., 1987.

“The Power of Modesty.” The Pure Life. Hosts Crystalina and Jason Evert. EWTN.
Irondale, AL. 2007.

Soucy, Jon. “What do Catholic youth want?” Adoremus Bulletin Vol. VI, No. 4 (2000): 1
par. 17 Oct. 2007 .

Trusting in God Again (Or for the First Time)

In my English composition class last year, we were supposed to write a paper where we identified a problem and then attempted to solve it. One of the problems in my own life (that can still be a struggle even to this day) is trusting in God. I know that many others wrestle with this issue as well. Some have lost their trust in Him, often after a very traumatic event, while some have never trusted in Him at all, some do not care, and some fall into the middle category of the day to day struggle of putting everything in God's hands. My hope is that this essay may give you some encouragement, even a very small amount or to at least leave you wondering.

We have all been through times of pain and suffering, yet extreme cases can be traumatizing. Some examples of these are the loss of a loved one, a breakup, a natural disaster, and even great spiritual trials called dark nights. During these troubling times one may lose one’s trust in God. One may ask, “Has He abandoned me? How could He do this to me? Why should I trust in Him again?” What can a believer do? How can one recover and trust in Him again? It is not easy to trust in God, but it is possible.

What are the harmful effects that one can fall into if one does not regain one’s trust in God? One can fall into emptiness and passivity. St. Augustine of Hippo’s words still ring true: “Our hearts were made for You O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in You.” Who would ever desire this death sentence? Another possibility is that one can be consumed by bitter resentment and possibly abandon one’s faith. Finally, one may fall into the verbal abuse trap by claiming that one is just trying “to get it off of my chest.” “All that stuff about the Cosmic Sadist was not so much the expression of thought as of hatred. I was getting from it the only pleasure a man in anguish can get; the pleasure of hitting back… ‘what I thought’ didn’t mean what I thought was true. Only what I thought would offend Him…” (Lewis 39-40).

The boundary in solving this problem is our human nature. We doubt, think negatively, or may be stubborn in our views, thinking that we know better than God. Human nature also falls back into old habits. Even after a period where things are getting better we may relapse. As we all know, people make mistakes. We are imperfect creatures, but that does not mean that we should stop aiming for the very best. I would rather receive a ninety percent on a test than a zero. One only needs to start little by little. Jesus gives us the example of the mustard seed. “It is the smallest of all the seeds, yet when full-grown it is the largest of plants” (Mt 13:31-32).

When times are hard, we may see God as a very cruel person who takes sadistic pleasure in our sufferings. “It is said that if a lamb constantly veers away from the safety of the flock and into danger, the shepherd will break its legs and then carry it on his shoulders and personally care for it. By the time the bones mend and the lamb can walk again, it has come to love and trust the shepherd so much that it never leaves his side” (Evert 40). Contrary to what we expect, somehow the pain that we are going through is really for our own benefit. The cure may be worse than the illness, but the effects are worthwhile. If we let Him tend to us and guide us, not only will we walk on the right path, but we will grow in our love for Him and learn to depend on Him. We are very weak and desperately need the help of Christ. He tells us, “without me you can do nothing” (Jn 15:5).

Going from when we are incandescently happy, to when we are in a state of total agony is traumatic. We may complain that, “ ‘It was too perfect to last’ ” (Lewis 48). Before falling to lamentations, or when trying to rise above them, think of God saying, “ ‘Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next.’ When you have learned to do quadratics and enjoy doing them you will not be set them much longer. The teacher moves you on” (Lewis 49). The Lord has many other lessons to teach us and even more adventures to send us on.

Scripture is helpful in discovering or even rediscovering why we should trust in the Lord. Reading scripture in its proper context, and reflecting on it is called the prayer of Lectio Divina. Here are a few examples of helpful biblical verses:

“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?...Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin...If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith." (Mt 6: 26, 28, 30)

Surely, if God can take care of very small matters then He can certainly take care of big ones as well. Human beings are very precious in His sight, for we are created in His image (Gen. 1:27).

Another example is in the incident with Martha and Mary. Jesus visits two women friends. Mary sits at the feet of the Lord and listens to His words intently (Lk 10: 39). Her sister Martha, on the other hand, is frantically serving the Lord. She complains to Him, asking why He does not tell Mary to get up and help her (Lk 10: 40). He replies, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her” (Lk 10: 41-42). We can become so caught up in our daily tasks and problems that it is easy for us to forget what is truly important. Sometimes we just need to pause and spend time with Jesus in prayer. He waits for us and yearns for us. In Him we find peace, joy, and strength.

One more example from scripture is very important for us to keep in mind. “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age” (Mt 28: 20). Here Jesus promises us that He will never leave us, no matter what. No matter what we go through on earth, He is always at our side. We are never alone.

The most important thing that we must do is remember that the Lord loves us. How do we know this? We know this because thousands of years ago He suffered the most excruciating physical, emotional, and spiritual pain ever known and died the most agonizing death. Meditating on His sufferings is a truly horrendous experience. One could never completely imagine the magnitude of His pain. There is only one answer for why He endured this; love. Blessed Mother Teresa said that, “Love to be real, it must cost- it must hurt- it must empty us of self” (“Love”). His death was the ultimate display of love. It brought us eternal life. The gates of Heaven were finally unlocked after the sin of Adam and Eve. He redeemed us. How can we not trust the one who loves us this much? May we never forget His love for us.

Another step that one can take in this situation is to rely on the intercession of the saints and Mary. The saints are our brothers and sisters in Christ and Mary is our mother. These holy men and women are our friends in “high” places. They understand what we are going through and desire to help us, for they have been through these trials as well. By praying through them, studying their lives, and imitating them we shall learn how to fight the good fight.

As regards to Mary, she is especially powerful with her Son, for she was the one who influenced Him to perform His first miracle at the wedding of Cana (Jn 2: 3- 11). Notice how at Cana, she told the servers, “Do whatever he tells you” (Jn 2: 5). Her true purpose is to lead us to her son. In the words of St. Josemaria Escriva, “…and she- your holy mother Mary- offers you, along with the grace of her son, the refuge of her arms, the tenderness of her embrace… and you will find yourself with added strength for the new battle” (“Our Lady”).

Last but not least, one must treasure the Eucharist. Blessed Pier Giorgio passionately declared that “With all the strength of my soul I urge you young people to approach the Communion table as often as you can. Feed on this bread of angels whence you will draw all the energy you need to fight inner battles” (“The Most Blessed Sacrament”). Not only does receiving the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ strengthen us, but so does Eucharistic adoration. Sometimes one speaks, at other times listens, and there are even times when one simply remains in the presence of one’s Beloved. What joy and peace there is in this!

As one can see, one can recover from not trusting in God. One must be patient, learn to depend on God, and step out of blaming Him for one’s problems. One needs time set aside for prayer, time to reflect on scripture, as well as to meditate on the passion of Christ and His love for us, be devoted to the saints and Mary, and treasure the gift of the Eucharist. It is not easy to trust in God, but it is possible.

Works Cited

Evert, Crystalina. Pure Womanhood. San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2007.

Lewis, C.S. A Grief Observed. New York: HarperCollins, 1961.

“Love.” Pureloveclub.com. Electric Pulp. 2007. 7 November 2007.

“The Most Blessed Sacrament.” Pureloveclub.com. Electric Pulp. 2007. 7 November
2007.

The New American Bible. Ed. Hartman, Canada: World Bible Inc., 1987.

“Our Lady.” Pureloveclub.com. Electric Pulp 2007. 7 November 2007. 

The Fourth Wiseman-- a fine faithfilled movie

Many of us are familiar with the three wisemen who visited the Christ Child but how about the fourth one? Okay, so there really wasn't a fourth wiseman. Still good fiction though.

The film tells the tale off Artaban, the determined Magi who after careful study believes that an unusual star will direct him to the birthplace of the Messiah who is soon to be born. He sells all that he owns for three very precious gems (foreshadows a certain parable doesn't it) that he will offer as gifts to the newborn king. Artaban is joined by his father's slave Orantes, who has been told by his master that he will be set free after returning his master's son home.

Unfortunately, the journey lasts longer than either Artaban or Orantes ever imagined. For they just barely miss Jesus in Bethlehem and are told that He and His family have gone on to Egypt to escape King Herod. So they search the great palaces of Egypt for years, for surely this great king would be in estates such as these. However, as one Jewish man who has studied the prophecies himself tells Artaban that the Messiah will be found in Israel. Also, this scholar proposes something strange to this Magi. Instead of searching among the royal and noble people, to instead try looking among the poor and lowly of society for He is to tend to their needs. Such a suggestion puzzles Artaban, for why would the Messiah surround Himself with such people, people that are to be avoided?

Orantes anxious to receive his freedom, keeps urging Artaban to leave this wild goose-chase and head back home, yet Artaban still persists. What is it that is has him so determined to find this Messiah? Like so many throughout history and even people today, Artaban has suffered loss. He had lost his dear wife and children in a fire and then to cope with his grief buried himself in his work. None of it fulfilled him though, so he believes that if he meets the foretold Messiah and serves Him that he will find purpose in his life. So Artaban is on the great quest to discover the meaning of life itself.

Along the way though he keeps meeting people that need his help, which side track him further and in helping them he must sacrifice not only his time but his gifts to the King. After thirty-three years of searching Artaban is close to death's door, as is the King that he is so desperately trying to reach. However on Easter Sunday, Artaban's dream comes true before his death and a profound lesson is learned about what the greatest gift of all to the King really was.

Getting the Record Straight About Who God is and What He Desires

A while back one of my friends brought up the topic of God. She admitted that she was having difficulty understanding Him as well as the concept of sin. My college roommate Gertrude and I discussed this with her but I felt that I hadn't given her adequate responses, especially since I am introverted and better explain myself in writing. The following is the email that I sent her.

I wanted to add some further things for you to think about from our conversation earlier about God. These things can certainly be confusing, yet you brought up interesting thoughts.

Let's get the records straight, God is not a cold, power-hungry, sadistic, and hateful God that wants to make us all miserable. Pope Benedict the sixteenth wrote an encyclical (a special letter that the pope writes to the whole world,) called "God is Love." Everything that He does for us is done out of love. The laws that He has given us are really for our own benefit. He is all-knowing, so He sees everything that can harm us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Remember that we call Him "Our Father" like in the prayer that Jesus gave us. If someone were to add up all of the love that every father from the first father to the last one that exists it would all fail in comparison to the love that Our Heavenly Father has for us.

God had no need to create us and to give us the world that we live in, but He did. He didn't have to give us mercy, prophets, or even a promise of a savior (Jesus,) but He did. He didn't have to agree to His only begotten Son's horrific death so that we could have the ability to be with Him for all eternity in heaven, but He did. He doesn't have to give us unconditional love, but He does.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him" (John 3:16-17).

He didn't come to declare that we are going to hell, but to call us to change. Just like what Gertrude said about the story of the woman caught in adultery, we are not to judge but notice what Our Lord also said. Once the people that wanted to put her to death had left, He said to the woman, "Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more" (John 8:11). He didn't tell her to go and continue to live the same destructive lifestyle that she had been living, but lovingly called her to turn away from her sin. He tells us the same now and always, for as I quoted from the bible earlier, that He came so that we might be saved through Him, instead of continuing to live in the darkness of sin apart from the light (John 3:17-21).

We are given two options in this life, to love and serve God or to not love and serve God. If we chose to love and serve Him then we must keep His commands, not out of fear, slavery, or obligation but out of love for Him. Why do we do this? Why is it that we must love Him by obeying Him? Because when you love someone, it's not enough to just say that you love them: you need to show it, so that they know that you really do care. Just talking is cheap, but our actions convey that we mean what we say. Jesus Himself said, "As the Father has loved me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love...You are my friends if you do what I command you" (John 15: 9-10, 14).

He doesn't force us, guilt trip us, or pressure us into doing anything. He certainly does want us to choose to love and serve Him, but He gives us the gift of freewill, which proves His love for us. For if He were to make us love and serve Him, then we would not love Him, but would be His slaves. He even loves us enough to allow us to go to hell. (Doesn't that sound ironic? But it's true.) It hurts Him very much (and that's putting it very lightly,) when we choose to reject Him, for no one loves us more than Him.

Grant it we don't always understand why He allows certain things to happen, but He is so far above us in knowledge and wisdom that even the greatest scholar could be. Essentially, the terrible and painful consequences of sin and suffering in general help us to grow as people, conquering ourselves, even drawing us closer to God during these times, for we come to completely depend on Him during the hard times (or at least we are meant to.) We are inclined to weakness and sin but with God we can do anything.

Venial sins are smaller sins committed that weaken our relationship with God, but mortal sins are much more serious than that that involve grave sins. Grave sins are things like murder, incest, rape, adultery, practicing homosexuality, slander, libel, and intentionally skipping mass when we are capable of making it, etc. These are very grave sins, but in and of themselves are not mortal sins. In order for a sin to be mortal it must not only be a grave sin, but also be done with full knowledge of the sinfulness of these grave sins, and also be done under one's own free will. When a Catholic has in fact committed a grave sin then they must not receive Our Lord in communion until they have gone to confession, for consuming Our Lord with such a great stain on one's soul is described as "murdering the Lord."

Jesus wants us to turn away from our sin and to be reconciled to Him, notice how I say reconciled to Him. When we sin we hurt Our Lord and through the gift of confession we are reconciled in our relationship to Him. It's just like in a song that I've heard at Mass before. "Come back to me with all your heart. Don't let fear keep us apart. ...Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life." Our Lord is merciful and forgives us when we are sorry for the hurt that we have caused Him and is always awaiting for our return to Him.

God bless.

Is Safe Sex Actually Safe?

The following is a paper that I submitted for an English composition class that I took last year that addresses a very controversial topic that needs to be addressed.

We all want safety, even in the bedroom. The thought of a sexually transmitted disease or out of wedlock pregnancy horrifies us. We seek to protect ourselves, our friends, and our families, particularly our children. What is our solution—Condoms and any other form of birth control. Before we begin handing out latex though, do we know all the facts? Is it effective? Are there any side affects that we should be aware of? How does safe sex affect our lives and our relationships? Is it good, bad, or neutral? The only thing that contraceptives protect us from is receiving the authentic love that we all desire.

Is safe sex effective? In the first year of taking birth control one out of six teenage girls will conceive (Evert, Jason 32). Planned Parenthood even admits that most high school pregnancies occur not because of the failure to use contraceptives but the failure of the contraceptives themselves (32). In regards to contracting disease, the pill weakens a woman’s immune system, which makes her more likely to become infected with sexually transmitted diseases (32). Scientists confess that they do not have enough evidence that condoms protect males from six out of eight of the most common diseases and not enough evidence that they protect females from seven of the eight most common diseases (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). Also, usage of the pill is linked to fatal blood clots, liver cancer, breast cancer, and cervical cancer (Evert, Jason 32). In reality:

The more sexual partners a woman has, the more likely she is to get
cervical cancer. This is caused by the most commonly transmitted STD,
human papilomavirus (HPV). However, condoms offer minimal protection
from the virus because it is spread from mid-thigh to mid-abdomen
contact. Any skin-to-skin sexual contact in that region, including hand-to-
genital contact can transmit it. …The Journal of the American Medical
Association reported that, currently, forty percent of sexually active
teenage girls are infected with HPV. (Evert, Crystalina 34)

Why should we trust condoms when they do not protect against the most common sexually transmitted disease and ironically make us more vulnerable to it?

Are the patch (Ortho Evra) and the shot (Depo-Provera) any better than condoms and the pill? Actually, the risks are similar and even worse (Evert, Jason 32). The makers of the patch face lawsuits relating to deaths and other injuries from at least 1000 women (32). In the mean time, women sue the makers of the shot for $700 million (32). One reason for the lawsuits is because the shot thins out a woman’s bones, which is very dangerous (32). Imagine the bones of a fifty to sixty-year-old in a twenty year old girl (32). Because of the shot’s link to breast cancer, veterinarians no longer prescribe Deprovera to dogs (33). Ironically though, we still give it to women. They receive the same shot given to male sex offenders to kill their sex drive (33).

Spouses and children of the infected are at high risk too. Most STDs are carried into marriage undetected. If a husband is infected with HPV, his wife is five times as likely to contract cervical cancer (Evert, Jason 31). “Several STDs are incurable, and many can be passed on from a mother to her baby. This can cause brain damage, blindness, deafness, pneumonia, liver disease, and even death to a newborn” (31-32). Is it worth it to put spouses and children in such danger?

After reading such information one wonders, “If safe sex is so harmful then why is it so widely promoted?” During a recording of the National Institute of Health’s question and answer in regards to contraceptives, doctors are asked why we do not tell teenagers that safe sex does not protect against the most common STD. One doctor responds that if we tell teenagers this then they will discard what little protection that the pill offers them but still continue sexual activity because they have no self-control (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). What a great insult! Young people cannot control themselves, but are wild animals that are dictated by their own desires despite the possible consequences (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). They are not even given the option of abstinence. The youth are sold into slavery. One young woman describes her own less than satisfying life on the pill that Planned Parenthood never tells women:

Here I am, sixteen years old and perfectly healthy but taking drugs to
make me sexually available. The drugs made me nauseous, moody,
depressed, and bloated. I remember asking myself again and again, “Why
am I doing this?” I knew it wasn’t for me, but I still had no answer. There
was just confusion and darkness. My boyfriend wasn’t much help, saying,
“Oh, just try it a little longer. It’ll be okay.” In other words, “I don’t care
if you hurt your body. If I can have sex without responsibility, life is great.
(Evert, Crystalina 36)

Why should we promote a lifestyle that entraps one with physical pain and encourages no responsibility at the cost of others and even oneself?

Contraceptive companies give us the false message that the only consequences to premarital sex are conceiving a child out of wedlock or contracting a disease. They never tell people about the other consequences: the feeling of being used and then discarded like a piece of gum, the regret, the guilt, the loss of respect for oneself and one’s partner, and the never ending desire for peace and confidence that never come (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). The world constantly assures us that sex equals love but then we see sex destroying love in the relationships of those we know and even in our own relationships (Evert, Jason 1-2). This destructive lifestyle hurts and confuses people, yet many feel trapped and know of no other way to find or even express love (2-3).

The human body is beautiful, sacred, and meant to be cherished (Whitman 665). Contraceptives, however, beg to differ. They instruct us to hate our bodies by fighting against its fertility (Evert, Crystalina 35). We take pills when we are sick, therefore pregnancy is now regarded as an illness instead of something to be treasured (36). Motherhood is apart of every woman just as fatherhood is apart of every man. Children are gifts not burdens.

Contraceptives, also teach us to disrespect our bodies by devaluing them. Giving ourselves for free implies that we are not worth anything, not even worth waiting to see (Evert, Jason 24). We try to convince ourselves that what we are doing is no big deal. One must ask, “No big deal? Our bodies are no big deal? We put so small a price on it or none at all” (Evert, Crystalina 31, 14)? We do not experiment with something priceless but with something cheap and replaceable (Evert, Jason 13). When we experiment with the gift of our bodies we slowly start to value them less and less (13).

Sex outside of marriage is lying with our bodies. In the act of intercourse the body says, “I give myself entirely to you. There’s nothing of me that I’m not giving to you” (10). An unmarried couple therefore, makes false promises to each other. “They’re saying, ‘I give you my body, but I won’t give you myself.” Or, ‘I’m totally yours until I’m totally someone else’s’ ” (10). Obviously, such an intimacy is designed specifically for couples who are committed to each other in marriage.

Often, sex is used to cover up problems (6). As one gynecologist describes, teenagers try to make it “work” so as to provide what they truly desire: acceptance, trust, love, relief from loneliness, and appreciation of their masculinity or femininity (6). When the sex does not work they, “turn their anger and hurt inward, resulting in depression…. We repeatedly return to certain behaviors such as sex, drugs, or drinking to get something that continually eludes us” (6-7). Research finds that even girls who only experience premarital sex once are three times as likely to be diagnosed with depression as chaste girls (“Why is premarital sex bad?”). The American Journal of Preventive Medicine warns doctors of this and recommends that if they encounter a young girl who is sexually active to screen her for depression (“Why is premarital sex bad?”). Research also finds that sexually active teenage girls are six times more likely to attempt suicide than virgins (“Why is premarital sex bad?”).

By promoting contraceptives to anyone we are destroying marriages before they even start (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). Often, sex causes people to marry the wrong person. During the act, one’s brain releases a hormone called oxytocin which causes a strong emotional bond, increases trust, and makes one less critical of one’s partner (Evert, Jason 8). The hormone influences a person to focus on the positive aspects and memories of the other person, and causes them to ignore the negative aspects (8). The circuits of the brain that are used to make judgments about the other person deactivate because of the intense bonding from oxytocin (8). The bond is even stronger in females and is probably why a girl stays in an unhealthy relationship despite the warnings of her loved ones (8). The blinding and binding is meant to help married couples through tough times but are clearly not meant for unmarried couples (8). Oxytocin is not the only reason for wrongly selecting a spouse. The lust causes a false sense of unity and their passion for each other impairs their ability to clearly look at each other (11). Usually, the lust covers up the absence of true love that never develops (11). Then after the wedding, they finally begin to evaluate the person that they married and realize their mistake.

Many claim that nothing is wrong with sex if the relationship leads to marriage, yet virgins have significantly lower divorce rates (10). If a man marries as a virgin, his divorce rate is sixty-three percent lower and for a woman who marries as a virgin, her divorce rate is seventy-six percent lower (10). Couples who refuse to cohabitate until marriage have a divorce rate nearly eighty percent lower than those who cohabitate before marriage (11). One reason for such findings, according to a journal entitled Adolescent and Family Health is, “Those who have premarital sex are more likely to have extramarital sex (affairs) –and extramarital sex contributes to many divorces (10-11).

Consider that patience, self-control, and sacrifice out of love for the other person are necessary qualities to a happy and lasting marriage (11, 2). Chaste couples practice the exact same principles (11). One can conclude that chastity prepares them for happy and lasting marriages (11). Purity liberates a couple from selfishly using each other as objects, which makes them capable of true love (2). Realize that, “purity never ruins loving relationships. If the relationship is based on lust, purity will end it. But if the relationship is based on love purity will save it” (Evert, Crystalina 17).

In the words of one woman, “when you put on chastity, you’ll discover a life more hope-filled, more vibrant, more real than anything you might have experienced while having sex outside of marriage” (Evert 24). The pure life is a joyful one full of peace. In chastity we find safety and reassurance but in contraceptives we ironically find the exact opposite. “Safe” sex in reality not only harms the body but the person as a whole. The only thing that contraceptives protect us from is achieving the authentic love that we all desire.

Works Cited

Eden, Dawn qtd. in Pure Love. Evert 24.

Evert, Crystalina and Jason. Romance Without Regret. DVD-ROM. San Diego:
Rosebud Productions, 2003.

Evert, Crystalina. Pure Womanhood. San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2007.

Evert, Jason. Pure Love. 5th ed. San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2007.

Whitman, Walt. “I Sing the Body Electric.” Reading and Writing from Literature. 3rd ed.
Ed. John E. Schwiebert. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. 665.

“Why is premarital sex bad? My friend just started high school and she’s trying to tell me
that it’s good and she’s going to do it.” Pure Love Club.com. 2007. Electric Pulp.
17 March 2008 .

After Happily Ever After

"...and they all lived happily ever after." Most of us are familiar with this conclusion to all faerie tales, but do we truly understand it? When we think happily ever after we tend to interpret the phrase as meaning that everything was perfect in the lives of the characters, particularly in regards to their marriages. The average person upholds this image as the model for their own marriages. The ideal, however understandable, is still an unrealistic expectation. Are these classic stories urging us to live our lives in illusions or are they implying something else? There is more to the married life than we realize.

What were the lives of the princes and princesses really like after the wedding and honeymoon? did they fight, say things that they later regretted to each other, have temptations of infidelity, get on each other's nerves, or possibly have troubles dealing with the in-laws and or children? The to these questions is that these couples faced most, if not all of these problems and even more...just like the couples of today. Everything was not perfect for them but despite difficulties they ended up having a happy marriage anyway. They had good times along with the bad, forgave each other, made up, and persevered.

Often, we view the wedding day as the end of the story. We usually observe this flawed mentality in many engaged couples. On one reality television show entitled, "Bridezilla," we encounter high-maintenance brides scrupulously plain for their special day, wanting everything to be absolutely perfect. Though an amusing series, if one takes a good look at it one sees that they spend a great deal of time planning for the wedding day but very little, if any, time on planning the marriage. Is the wedding not merely the first day of the marriage and the marriage itself will last for the rest of their lives? Imagine preparing for one day of fifty years. If we really think about it this is completely silly. Famous author G. K. Chesterton once wrote a letter to his wife describing how their wedding was creation day. To him, it was not an end but a beginning.

During an engagement period a couple needs to discern if they should go through with the wedding or not. Certain issues need to be discussed and thought over. One of my high school Spanish teachers told us the story of her brother's divorce. He was young and in love but some time after he got married he discovered that his wife did not want to have children, yet he did. This led to conflict and then they divorced. Had this been brought to his attention earlier, the wedding never would have taken place and obviously the divorce would not have either. Fortunately, most churches have marriage preparation programs set up so that a couple can evaluate their relationship and properly prepare for their marriage, but both of the engaged persons and the pastor for that matter must take this time very seriously. Unfortunately, some pastors marry off just about anyone these days, some not even giving any marriage preparation (which by the way is illegal in Catholicism.) What they often don't see are the benefits to such a program and how without sufficient preparation, that they may be setting up the couple for divorce or at least significant marital problems.

Stories are meant to teach us real life lessons and faerie tales are no different, but we sometimes get caught up in its fantasy world. No perfect marriages exist. According to G.K. Chesterton, he knew plenty of happy marriages but no "compatible" ones. As one can clearly see, there is more to the married life than we realize.

Pro-Life Messages Gaining Popularity in the Media

Sometimes, it's easy to see the negatives and to pay little if any attention to the positives. The pro-life movement still has a very long way to go until it is victorious but as they say, "the tides are turning."

Yep, you read that right. They are really are. Just look at what is going on in the media for over a year now.

1. Meet the Robinsons, is an endearing time travel film about an orphan boy named Louis who is distraught that no one ever wants to adopt him. He yearns to be loved by a family of his own and even seeks out his long lost mother who left him at the doorstep of the orphanage. Through his adventure through time, he learns the valuable lessons of hoping, learning from his failures, forgiveness, his own self- worth, that a wonderful future awaits him, and that he really is loved. By the end, we see the beauty of adoption as Louis finally comes home with his new family.

2. bella, involves a single waitress named Nina, who has to deal with an unexpected pregnancy. Fired from being late to work multiple times and in a state of almost total despair, she is befriended by a former co-worker of hers named Jose, who shares with her love and understanding, which she hasn't gotten from anyone else. Through Nina's relationship with him she eventually leaves the clinic and chooses to let her baby live and give her away in adoption.

3. The ever popular Juno, weaves the story of teenage girl who finds herself pregnant as well. After being told just before entering the abortion clinic that even in the early stages in the womb that her baby has fingernails, something that makes her realize that her baby is a human being. Then, she finds who she deems a worthy couple to give her child in adoption to. We even see a beautiful moment where Vanessa (the mother to be) feels her baby move in Juno's womb. Life is definitely inside of her. Unlike bella though we actually get to see the baby for ourselves and witness the joy of adoption with our own eyes.

4. Horton Hears a Who, retells the familiar tale of an elephant named Horton, who discovers life on the spec of a clover who will do anything protect the town that lives on it. A funny and heartfelt film that reaffirms that, "A person's a person no matter how small." Dr. Seuss would be proud.

5. The Secret Life of the American Teenager, is the relatively new television series about a fifteen year old girl named Amy who, yes you guessed it, has discovered her own unplanned pregnancy. She nearly has her child aborted as well but then takes responsibility for her actions and gives her unborn child life. Amy even gets the love and support she needs from her own family and learns an untold secret about her own mother's past that helps her to cope with her own situation.

I've heard that Plato said that if you want to change the culture, don't go into politics to change the laws but go into the arts to influence people to get those laws changed. There's definitely hope for the pro-life movement then.