We all want safety, even in the bedroom. The thought of a sexually transmitted disease or out of wedlock pregnancy horrifies us. We seek to protect ourselves, our friends, and our families, particularly our children. What is our solution—Condoms and any other form of birth control. Before we begin handing out latex though, do we know all the facts? Is it effective? Are there any side affects that we should be aware of? How does safe sex affect our lives and our relationships? Is it good, bad, or neutral? The only thing that contraceptives protect us from is receiving the authentic love that we all desire.
Is safe sex effective? In the first year of taking birth control one out of six teenage girls will conceive (Evert, Jason 32). Planned Parenthood even admits that most high school pregnancies occur not because of the failure to use contraceptives but the failure of the contraceptives themselves (32). In regards to contracting disease, the pill weakens a woman’s immune system, which makes her more likely to become infected with sexually transmitted diseases (32). Scientists confess that they do not have enough evidence that condoms protect males from six out of eight of the most common diseases and not enough evidence that they protect females from seven of the eight most common diseases (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). Also, usage of the pill is linked to fatal blood clots, liver cancer, breast cancer, and cervical cancer (Evert, Jason 32). In reality:
The more sexual partners a woman has, the more likely she is to get
cervical cancer. This is caused by the most commonly transmitted STD,
human papilomavirus (HPV). However, condoms offer minimal protection
from the virus because it is spread from mid-thigh to mid-abdomen
contact. Any skin-to-skin sexual contact in that region, including hand-to-
genital contact can transmit it. …The Journal of the American Medical
Association reported that, currently, forty percent of sexually active
teenage girls are infected with HPV. (Evert, Crystalina 34)
Why should we trust condoms when they do not protect against the most common sexually transmitted disease and ironically make us more vulnerable to it?
Are the patch (Ortho Evra) and the shot (Depo-Provera) any better than condoms and the pill? Actually, the risks are similar and even worse (Evert, Jason 32). The makers of the patch face lawsuits relating to deaths and other injuries from at least 1000 women (32). In the mean time, women sue the makers of the shot for $700 million (32). One reason for the lawsuits is because the shot thins out a woman’s bones, which is very dangerous (32). Imagine the bones of a fifty to sixty-year-old in a twenty year old girl (32). Because of the shot’s link to breast cancer, veterinarians no longer prescribe Deprovera to dogs (33). Ironically though, we still give it to women. They receive the same shot given to male sex offenders to kill their sex drive (33).
Spouses and children of the infected are at high risk too. Most STDs are carried into marriage undetected. If a husband is infected with HPV, his wife is five times as likely to contract cervical cancer (Evert, Jason 31). “Several STDs are incurable, and many can be passed on from a mother to her baby. This can cause brain damage, blindness, deafness, pneumonia, liver disease, and even death to a newborn” (31-32). Is it worth it to put spouses and children in such danger?
After reading such information one wonders, “If safe sex is so harmful then why is it so widely promoted?” During a recording of the National Institute of Health’s question and answer in regards to contraceptives, doctors are asked why we do not tell teenagers that safe sex does not protect against the most common STD. One doctor responds that if we tell teenagers this then they will discard what little protection that the pill offers them but still continue sexual activity because they have no self-control (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). What a great insult! Young people cannot control themselves, but are wild animals that are dictated by their own desires despite the possible consequences (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). They are not even given the option of abstinence. The youth are sold into slavery. One young woman describes her own less than satisfying life on the pill that Planned Parenthood never tells women:
Here I am, sixteen years old and perfectly healthy but taking drugs to
make me sexually available. The drugs made me nauseous, moody,
depressed, and bloated. I remember asking myself again and again, “Why
am I doing this?” I knew it wasn’t for me, but I still had no answer. There
was just confusion and darkness. My boyfriend wasn’t much help, saying,
“Oh, just try it a little longer. It’ll be okay.” In other words, “I don’t care
if you hurt your body. If I can have sex without responsibility, life is great.
(Evert, Crystalina 36)
Why should we promote a lifestyle that entraps one with physical pain and encourages no responsibility at the cost of others and even oneself?
Contraceptive companies give us the false message that the only consequences to premarital sex are conceiving a child out of wedlock or contracting a disease. They never tell people about the other consequences: the feeling of being used and then discarded like a piece of gum, the regret, the guilt, the loss of respect for oneself and one’s partner, and the never ending desire for peace and confidence that never come (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). The world constantly assures us that sex equals love but then we see sex destroying love in the relationships of those we know and even in our own relationships (Evert, Jason 1-2). This destructive lifestyle hurts and confuses people, yet many feel trapped and know of no other way to find or even express love (2-3).
The human body is beautiful, sacred, and meant to be cherished (Whitman 665). Contraceptives, however, beg to differ. They instruct us to hate our bodies by fighting against its fertility (Evert, Crystalina 35). We take pills when we are sick, therefore pregnancy is now regarded as an illness instead of something to be treasured (36). Motherhood is apart of every woman just as fatherhood is apart of every man. Children are gifts not burdens.
Contraceptives, also teach us to disrespect our bodies by devaluing them. Giving ourselves for free implies that we are not worth anything, not even worth waiting to see (Evert, Jason 24). We try to convince ourselves that what we are doing is no big deal. One must ask, “No big deal? Our bodies are no big deal? We put so small a price on it or none at all” (Evert, Crystalina 31, 14)? We do not experiment with something priceless but with something cheap and replaceable (Evert, Jason 13). When we experiment with the gift of our bodies we slowly start to value them less and less (13).
Sex outside of marriage is lying with our bodies. In the act of intercourse the body says, “I give myself entirely to you. There’s nothing of me that I’m not giving to you” (10). An unmarried couple therefore, makes false promises to each other. “They’re saying, ‘I give you my body, but I won’t give you myself.” Or, ‘I’m totally yours until I’m totally someone else’s’ ” (10). Obviously, such an intimacy is designed specifically for couples who are committed to each other in marriage.
Often, sex is used to cover up problems (6). As one gynecologist describes, teenagers try to make it “work” so as to provide what they truly desire: acceptance, trust, love, relief from loneliness, and appreciation of their masculinity or femininity (6). When the sex does not work they, “turn their anger and hurt inward, resulting in depression…. We repeatedly return to certain behaviors such as sex, drugs, or drinking to get something that continually eludes us” (6-7). Research finds that even girls who only experience premarital sex once are three times as likely to be diagnosed with depression as chaste girls (“Why is premarital sex bad?”). The American Journal of Preventive Medicine warns doctors of this and recommends that if they encounter a young girl who is sexually active to screen her for depression (“Why is premarital sex bad?”). Research also finds that sexually active teenage girls are six times more likely to attempt suicide than virgins (“Why is premarital sex bad?”).
By promoting contraceptives to anyone we are destroying marriages before they even start (Evert, Crystalina and Jason). Often, sex causes people to marry the wrong person. During the act, one’s brain releases a hormone called oxytocin which causes a strong emotional bond, increases trust, and makes one less critical of one’s partner (Evert, Jason 8). The hormone influences a person to focus on the positive aspects and memories of the other person, and causes them to ignore the negative aspects (8). The circuits of the brain that are used to make judgments about the other person deactivate because of the intense bonding from oxytocin (8). The bond is even stronger in females and is probably why a girl stays in an unhealthy relationship despite the warnings of her loved ones (8). The blinding and binding is meant to help married couples through tough times but are clearly not meant for unmarried couples (8). Oxytocin is not the only reason for wrongly selecting a spouse. The lust causes a false sense of unity and their passion for each other impairs their ability to clearly look at each other (11). Usually, the lust covers up the absence of true love that never develops (11). Then after the wedding, they finally begin to evaluate the person that they married and realize their mistake.
Many claim that nothing is wrong with sex if the relationship leads to marriage, yet virgins have significantly lower divorce rates (10). If a man marries as a virgin, his divorce rate is sixty-three percent lower and for a woman who marries as a virgin, her divorce rate is seventy-six percent lower (10). Couples who refuse to cohabitate until marriage have a divorce rate nearly eighty percent lower than those who cohabitate before marriage (11). One reason for such findings, according to a journal entitled Adolescent and Family Health is, “Those who have premarital sex are more likely to have extramarital sex (affairs) –and extramarital sex contributes to many divorces (10-11).
Consider that patience, self-control, and sacrifice out of love for the other person are necessary qualities to a happy and lasting marriage (11, 2). Chaste couples practice the exact same principles (11). One can conclude that chastity prepares them for happy and lasting marriages (11). Purity liberates a couple from selfishly using each other as objects, which makes them capable of true love (2). Realize that, “purity never ruins loving relationships. If the relationship is based on lust, purity will end it. But if the relationship is based on love purity will save it” (Evert, Crystalina 17).
In the words of one woman, “when you put on chastity, you’ll discover a life more hope-filled, more vibrant, more real than anything you might have experienced while having sex outside of marriage” (Evert 24). The pure life is a joyful one full of peace. In chastity we find safety and reassurance but in contraceptives we ironically find the exact opposite. “Safe” sex in reality not only harms the body but the person as a whole. The only thing that contraceptives protect us from is achieving the authentic love that we all desire.
Works Cited
Eden, Dawn qtd. in Pure Love. Evert 24.Evert, Crystalina and Jason. Romance Without Regret. DVD-ROM. San Diego:
Rosebud Productions, 2003.
Evert, Crystalina. Pure Womanhood. San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2007.
Evert, Jason. Pure Love. 5th ed. San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2007.
Whitman, Walt. “I Sing the Body Electric.” Reading and Writing from Literature. 3rd ed.
Ed. John E. Schwiebert. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. 665.
“Why is premarital sex bad? My friend just started high school and she’s trying to tell me
that it’s good and she’s going to do it.” Pure Love Club.com. 2007. Electric Pulp.
17 March 2008
